How to Keep Marriage Fun

Posted November 12, 2013

Having been married for almost ten years, my husband and I have faced many changes in our relationship. Like so many couples, we began with a passionate love interest, which eventually became a comfortable marriage. That evolution, while positive, can also unfortunately lead to taking that most important relationship in your life for granted. The fun that used to fill the time with your spouse can be crowded out with the cares of daily lives. By finding ways to maintain this fun in your marriage, then you can make your relationship more enjoyable and secure it for a lifetime.

Giving Each Other Grace
As my husband and I lived with each other day to day, it became pretty apparent that we would eventually annoy each other with our habits and idiosyncrasies. We married fairly late in life, and so we had already become “set in our ways.” While understandable, this tended to lead to some friction between us. Whether it was the way I hung up the laundry or the way he drank from the milk carton, we got on each others nerves.  By focusing on these issues, though, we only created problems for ourselves.

While this may not necessarily inject fun into your daily life, it will make it possible to get past the annoyances and get to the fun. Giving each other grace each day will allow you and your spouse to feel that you can be yourself around the other. By not nagging them about stray socks, you will increase the number of positive interactions with your spouse, thus creating an atmosphere in which fun will happen.

Doing the Little Things for Your Spouse
With the busy nature of modern life, we can often become self-absorbed in our own tasks. This is certainly understandable, but it can prove deadly in a marriage. To maintain a marriage, each person must stay attentive to the other, realizing that they need support. By keeping this in mind and doing little things each day to support your spouse, then you will further reinforce the grace of your relationship.

Does this mean gifts or trinkets? No, not usually. Perhaps your husband loves coffee each morning but often hits the snooze button more than once; you could make sure the coffee maker is ready in the evening so that he will simply have to push a button on the coffee maker after waking. Or if your wife is obviously having a bad day, then she might like a cup of tea as she snuggles in her favorite beanbag and reads a book. Covering her lap with a soft fleece blanket would make that time even that much sweeter. Showing that you care by doing these small things will let your spouse relax, creating a pleasant time for all.  If you need either of these cozy items, try an online shop like www.ahhprods.com or amazon.com.  Pick her favorite colors to really show how much you care.

Finding Common Ground in Fun
I'm sure that there are some couples whose idea of enjoyment is the same; perhaps they meet while rock climbing or biking and find true love. Finding common ground would be a simple matter in this case, but for me and my husband, it was far from easy. He loves playing video games, and I enjoy watching movies. Although we pursue our own hobbies separately, there is some benefit in finding a hobby or activity that can be pursued together.

It took a lot of experimenting, but for us that common ground turned out to be a video game. Surprised? My husband chose one with a strong storyline and character development, two elements common to the movies and books that I loved. He played the game itself, enjoying the fighting and adventuring, while I cheered him on. We both grew fond of that time together, which we carefully set aside most every week. By finding that common ground, we had fun and grew closer.

Set Aside a Place for Enjoyment
For many of us, it seems that every room in the house is a place for work. This can be especially true if you work from home. This creeping responsibility can take over your life and your relationship with your spouse. When we see everything as work, then our time with our spouse eventually becomes a chore as well. By setting apart a place for fun, then you can provide yourself with a spatial separation that will indicate that time spent there is for fun.

Of course, many of us can only dream about a game room, fitness center, or the like. While those possibilities are wonderful, they probably aren't likely for the majority of us. Creating that special space doesn't necessarily require a large outlay of money, however. One great example would be the extra-large bean bags offered by Ahh! Products (www.ahhprods.com). These 52-inch wide beanbag chairs would be fun, cozy seating for two love birds. It would be perfect for watching a movie, playing a video game, or any other hobby that you might enjoy together. Too, it is easily movable, and so you could create that special space in any room of your home.

Indeed, although couples often come together through a surge of emotion, it is often only through careful attention to maintaining that relationship that the marriage will continue. By doing things each day that will create a space favorable for fun with your spouse, you will help to ensure the longevity of your marriage. Time with your spouse should be enjoyable, and with just a little work, it can be fun as well.

How do you enjoy each other and make your marriage stronger every day?  What do you find gets in the way and how do you overcome those obstacles?  Please share!

Special thanks to Krista for this guest blog post!